Mokuroku
(Catalogue of techniques)

Dono michi o itte-mo eki-ni-demasu (Whatever road you take, you will come to the station)
 

Shoden
(Initial transmissions)

Tsurui-ai-no-tore nai no koto (Off balance)
Battari-do no koto (Fall with a thud)
Hageru no koto; san-bon (Lose hair)
Niku-ga-tsuku no koto (Gain weight)
Hora wo fuku no koto (Tell tall tales)
Hara-no-naka-de-warau no koto (Laugh at people behind their backs)
 

Himitsu
(Initial secret transmissions)

Seido-fumi-hazusu no koto (Stray from the right path)
Nou nashi taka wa tsume wo dasu no koto (Show off and brag without justification)
Hageruakasu no koto (Dodge questions)
 
Chuden
(Intermediate transmissions)

Iki-gire no koto (Shortness of breath)
Hageru no koto (Become bald)
Ude-ga-ochiru no koto (Fall off in ability)
Wara-nagara no koto (Flatter oneself)
Kane-o-segamu no koto (Pester for money)
 
 
Himitsu
(Intermediate secret transmissions)

Uwasa o hiromeru no koto (Spread rumors; oral transmission)
Kijo no burosheeto no koto (Academic BS; oral transmission)
Sora toboke wo suru no koto (When in doubt, act clueless)
Gomakashi no koto (Muddy the waters, obfuscate)

 
Okuden
(Advanced transmissions)

Miru kage no mai no koto (Become a mere shadow of one’s former self)
Haji wo sarasu no koto (Humiliate oneself)
Rensen-rempai-suru no koto (Be defeated every time)
 

Chúnen Butori Ryú Go-rin no sho

Literally, "the Middle-aged Potbelly System’s Book of Five Spheres," the following are skills needed to achieve very high ranks in Chúnen Butori Ryú, or Middle-Age Fat Folks’ Style. (Any resemblance to the policies and practices of any organizations associated with national or international sport is purely coincidental.)
 

Yama Bu-Shi
(The pile of Bu-Shi)

Kane-no-chikara-ni nabiku (Bow to the money)
Hana no shita wo nagaku suru no koto (Become lecherous)
Uwa-yaku-ni-tori-iru no koto (Ingratiate with superiors)
Waraai-mono-ni-naru no koto (Become a laughingstock)

Yama Bu-Shi no Himitsu
(Secret teachings of the pile of Bu-Shi)

Kankei o tachi-kiru (Cut off relationships)
Aji-no-nai no koto (Become insipid)
Uwa-zuru no koto (Ring false)
Tengan-suru no koto (Apply whitewash)
Goma wo suru no koto (Suck up)
Reigu-sura no koto (Treat others coldly)
 
Tengu
(Literally "the mountain goblin," but more colloquially translated as someone with his nose in the air; e.g., an egotist)

Gorin no sho
(To ascend these Olympian heights, one must demonstrate mastery of the Way of the Five Rings, namely bribery, collusion, lying, cheating, and stealing.)

Tengu no Himitsu
(The egotist’s secrets)

Yowai-mono-ijeme-o-suru no koto (Bully the weak)
Hito-no-nasake-ni-sugaru no koto (Beg for mercy)
Kamo-ni-suru no koto (Make a sucker)
Kane-de-sugu-ugoku no koto (Easily bribed)
Tsumi o kakusu no koto (Conceal one’s guilt)
Shutai no koto (Shameful conduct)
Tsukai-komi no koto (Embezzlement)
No o kegasu kata no koto (Soil one’s reputation)  

Copies of these rules printed on quality paper and suitable for presentation to Grandmasters are available for purchase, as are additional Middle-aged Fat Folk paraphernalia. Write jsvinth@ejmas.com for availability and details.