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Dear Ivica Zdravkovic,
I am a contract web programmer and have done work for many web design
companies and ad agencies. I specialize in CGI/Perl programming on both
unix/linux and NT platforms and have worked on quite a few web projects
including:
- complex search engines
- website and database searches
- e-commerce / web based shopping cart systems
- interactive threaded discussion forums
- web form handlers with email auto-responders
I quote by the project and will gladly provide firm pricing estimates
upon request. Projects typically are completed within 2-3 days and come
with my install and update support. Should you have the need for my services
either now or in the future, please don't hesitate to contact me.
sincerely,
James Clarke
james@idepot.net
"I may not know it all, but I know CGI"
Well, if you think you need some of the above
mentioned things, cal this guy.


1. On Sears hairdryer:
"Do
not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that's the only time
I have to work on my hair)
2. On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving
suggestions: Defrost."
(But it's *just*
a suggestion)
3. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on
bottom of box):
"Do
not turn upside down."
(Oops, too late!)
4. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do
not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save
even more time?)
5. On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning:
May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope)
6. On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For
indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
7. On a Japanese food processor:
"Not
to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit,
I'm curious.)
8. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning:
Contains nuts."
(NEWS
FLASH)
9. On a child's Superman costume:
10. On a Swedish chain saw:
"Do
not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a chance
of this happening somewhere?...Good grief)
11. On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent: